Author Archives: Elle Grant

Revisiting Christmas before Thanksgiving: Why the Early Bird is Awesome

In addition to being a List Lover, I’m also an optimist.  Annoyingly so, I imagine, for most people.  Bad day at work?  At least I have a job.  Crying baby on a plane ride…all the way across the country?  At least the guy next to me didn’t need to use the little white bag shoved in the seat pocket in front of him.  Bad break up?  Those sure do make for good stories later on…  Broken arm?  At least I don’t have gangrene.

I partially blame this optimism on my father.  I was raised by a man whose Go-To question in any crisis was, “Did anyone die?”  So far, the answer has always been “no.”  His reply?  “If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, you’re in good shape.”  Thanks, dad.

So, in honor of my optimistic spirit and the holiday season, I would like to argue that while Americans can certainly seem overbearing with regards to Christmas preparations, seeing as how they seem to start before Halloween, we’re really not quite as bad as we appear.  Here’s why:

1.  Focus:  In an age where we are constantly bombarded with information in the form of status updates, tweets (limited to 140 characters…sheesh!), and Outlook reminders, it’s clear why we have such short attention spans.  The simple fact that we can sustain interest in something for more than two minutes, much less three months or longer, says volumes about our character as a population.

 

2.  Heart:  If you’ve seen those Target commercials with the lovely blond in a red jumpsuit steadfastly preparing for her shopping trek, you have a glimpse into the dedication and determination we have when it comes to Christmas shopping.  Anyone who is willing to brave the Christmas crowds donned in sneakers and work out gear simply to allow for quick steps and freer movement (picture 16 bulging shopping bags that need carrying to the car) is a person with heart…not to mention all the good cardio opportunities shopping and standing in line offer.

 

3.  Martyrdom:  While our country may be in the red, it’s refreshing to see people willing to camp out on sidewalks in order to be one of the lucky few who get the best gifts at the best deals.  This shows a willingness to suffer for the ones we love.  I mean, really, unless you’re at a Gator tailgate where the nearest air conditioned bathroom is in a fraternity house down the street, why on earth would anyone voluntarily camp out to the extreme of having to use a portapotti?…which brings me to the next item on our list…

 

4.   Efficiency:  Economic efficiency, that is.  It only makes sense to applaud those who scour the papers and television commercials in search of opportunities to save money.  In today’s society, isn’t it important to save a few bucks where we can?  The answer is yes.  Here’s why…

 

5.  Generosity:  The more we save, the more we are able to give.  Buy One-Get One pajamas?  Score!  Two gifts for my sisters done with money leftover for a Starbucks for me and a pastry for that guy on the street corner who’d probably rather have a beer.

 

And finally,

6.  The American Dream:  The fact that we start shopping for Christmas before Trick or Treaters have even begun to beat on our doors demonstrates one of the primary qualities of what our country is founded on:  Overachievement.  While it can be argued there are many Americans who lack this drive, those individuals who begin the adventure of filling the space in the guest bedroom closet, and ultimately, under the tree, before pumpkins have been carved and turkeys have been stuffed are clearly go-getters.  People have dreams.  A house with a white picket fence.  A new bicycle.  A nice guy with a job, a car, and a sense of humor.  Big dreams.  Those people out and about early on in fall are people who make those dreams happen.  And because of that, those people help make this country great.

 

So, while many criticize the inching up of Christmas toward summer and those individuals who take part in the pushing forward (or backward, as it may be), I applaud it and them…particularly because I have lived vicariously through them this fall.  My guest bedroom closet?  Filled with rain boots, suitcases, and boxes of grad school essays.  *Sigh*

 

**Photos courtesy of guardian.co.uk, balancelifeskills.com, savagechickens.com, nj.com, socialmediaobservatory.com, and masstransmit.com.

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It’s a Bird. It’s a Plane. It’s…It’s…Darth Vader?

I recently had the pleasure of attending the Balloon Fiesta in New Mexico – thank you…you know who you are…  Here’s what we got to see.  There are certainly some artistic photographs here, but hopefully these will help you get a glimpse of what people are seeing out there.

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This One’s For You, Kid…

And you know who you are…

 

 

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From Sea to Shining Sea…

Or really, from border to border…  Small town America to living large in the Big City – you name it, we did it.  As promised, here are a few images from the road trip.  God Bless America.

 

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Beef Jerky, Blow Pops, and Big Gulps: Road Trip Essentials for the Girl Next Door

Tomorrow marks the start of another adventure.  Photographs will follow…but in the meantime, I leave you with this:

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” ~Borrowed from Susan Sontag and most certainly one of my new favorites…

 

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California: More than Simply Home to the Avocado and Artichoke Capitals of the World…

A great deal can be said about California.  Will Rogers famously joked that when the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, the IQ’s went up in both states, and in reference to the wine California is so famous for, Winston Churchill said, “In victory, we deserve it.  In defeat, we need it.”  I, however, will stay true to the California state motto (“Eureka!” translated from Greek meaning “I have found it!) and simply show you what I discovered there:

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NOLA: The Land of Booze and Beads (and Surprising Beauty)

While on a recent trip to New Orleans, I had the pleasure of not only partaking in *the best* raw oysters I’ve ever had (Thanks Acme!), but also of visiting a plantation.  While the city certainly has its charms, so does the country…

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What’s Love Got to do With It? Almost Everything: Why the 14th is Just as Good as Every Other Day of the Year

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  Now, before you start making assumptions, let me clear a few things up.  I don’t *not* celebrate Valentine’s Day for lack of a willing and able other half.  Even when I wore my hair in pigtails and had to stand on my tippy toes to ride Space Mountain, I had my fair share of “Valentines.”

Life is all about the extra inches…and tippy toes are highly effective…

 

In Kindergarten, it was Patrick. He was also my first kiss. Well, of the “Let’s run behind the tree, and I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” kind. Then there was James. Sweet James. Benji, Jeff, and Paul got me through elementary school. There was David in middle school. Then Mike, and Mike again, and Mike again, oh for about eight years. Then there was someone who will remain nameless in order to squash any urges I may have to create clever pseudonyms that might not be too complimentary.  He was around for too many V-days.

“Lauren and Patrick Sittin’ in a Tree…” Or a sandbox…

So, there have been opportunities to celebrate.  I just chose not to.  (Those in my life will vouch for this fact.  Many a boyfriend have been grateful for my wallflower ways when it comes to V-day.)

Some people avoid Valentine’s Day because they think it’s become a Hallmark holiday. I can see that. However, I’m all for commerce and capitalism and people having an extra day to buy their loved ones presents. I don’t *not* celebrate it because it’s commercialized.  If people want to have an excuse to buy chocolates and cards and big “I love you!” balloons, who am I to judge? Have at it. Keep our economy chugging along, please.

Sure, Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, but for those that don’t have an other half, the day can be disappointing. Having always had at least one friend who feels that way this time of year, I can attest to the fact that this type of disappointment, like any other I suppose, is not fun. And so, for solidarity to my friends, I let February 14th pass by just like any other day.

Now Love, that’s a whole different story.  Love is what makes the world go ‘round, right?  Well, love and ambition and The Big Guy Upstairs and that whole earth orbiting the sun and spinning on its axis thing. That, too. While many of us hope for life-long love, marrying the person of our dreams, having beautiful and intelligent children with that person, and then growing old and dancing to Etta James and doing the Electric Slide on our 50th wedding anniversary, it doesn’t always work out that way.

My mother, God love her, is on her third husband.  I’m not quite sure how these men perform in the “Husband” department, but all three of the men she married have been great dads to me.  She knows how to pick good fathers, that’s for sure.  (And they’re all Gators, so clearly she has good taste.)  Because my mother has had at least three Great Loves in her life, we now have a blended family, and while it’s not “happily-ever-after love” the first (or second) time around, it’s still not half bad.  Here’s why:

1. Extra Family Members.  Because my mom and dad broke up, I now have a lovely (and hilarious) step-mom, a lovely (and kind) 2nd dad, a lovely (and generous) 2nd step-mom who is married to my 2nd dad (and her super fun daughter/my most recent sisterly addition), and three lovely (beautiful, smart, and funny) sisters.  (We’re mutt sisters, sharing one parent by blood and one parent by love.)  A little confusing, I’m aware, and not too pretty on paper, but most certainly entertaining in real life.

Now that my mom’s on to her third husband, I now have *another* great dad (who likes to hunt and fish and claims he’s going to take me one day soon…cough, cough…Mike?  You reading this?) and a brother and sister-in-law (who live in England!)…and as of April of this year, I’ll be an aunt.  I’m pretty sure Baby Gator cheerleading outfits look just as cute in England as they do in Florida.

Baby Gators in England? Absolutely!

And because all these husbands have sisters and brothers, I also have a bunch of fun aunts and uncles and extra grandparents and cousins.  Yes, the family tree is huge and gnarly, but it sure does make things interesting, especially around the holidays…which brings me to my next point…

2. Extra Celebrations.  Up until about the age of 23, birthdays are really fun.  Getting to celebrate your birthday multiple times with your various families, and then again with your friends, makes for a busy birthday month.  Busy and fun and lucrative.

Christmas?  Just as good.  Not only do you get (and give) extra presents, you get extra food, too.  Grant family Christmases are classic for holiday dinners, but the rest of the families certainly know how to cook a feast.  (And when all the families (ex’s and current spouses, etc.) get together, which has happened countless times in my life, we can feed an army.)

Sure, there are extra celebrations (birthdays, graduations, getting accepted into UF parties, etc.) for everyone else, too. These can be detrimental to my pocketbook (and my shoe and travel fund); however, the good times make it all worth it.  At all these events, memories are made and stories are spun.  The history of our good times as a blended family grows longer with each event.

3. Independence.  Independence goes right along with extra celebrations.  Because I come from a fractured family, I am used to being passed around the state (and country) for family gatherings.  I am not traumatized by not being with a certain family member for a certain holiday, and they are not traumatized by me not being there.  We all know we’ll get around to celebrating sooner or later.  And because I’m all about delayed gratification, “sooner or later” works out perfectly.  While I certainly admire families who *must* be together during the holidays, I find it comforting to know anticipation replaces disappointment in my family when it comes to absences around those times of year.

4. Love.  I feel very loved.  All the time.

5. A Good Example.  While many divorces end in life-long resentments, I know nothing about that.  My parents, all of them, have done an amazing job of being responsible, respectful, quality human beings.  All the husbands (current and ex’s) get along and share “Maria” jokes, and all the wives (current and ex’s) get along and share pointers.

I know not of bitter fights and angry battles.  I know only of adults behaving like, well, adults.  Because of this, I have seen how it’s done and I know it is possible, this life of a happy, blended family.  And while one day I hope to have one, just one, husband, I know that good can come from situations other than a traditional “happily ever after.”

My Family Tree: An example of (and heavy on the) Love…and all that it entails.

So, while I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, I do celebrate love. Lots of it. And with all the various family members I have, with all of their various characteristics, I feel as if I’m qualified to do so. 365 days a year.

 

**Photos courtesy of scoop.it, zazzle.com, community.trendmicro.com, firebellymarketing.com, footballfanatics.com, and twentytwowords.com.

Posted in From Behind the Lens

Stats vs. Sweet Talk Take 2: Translating the Conversational Gap Between Men, Women, & Word Counts

An excerpt from earlier:

Woman:  I’m super excited about the Super Bowl.  It’s going to be so much fun.  We’re having a party, and a bunch of people I haven’t seen in a long time are coming.  And man, James, have you met James?  Anyway, James makes these amazing barbecue ribs.  Food, fun, football.  So excited!  **claps hands enthusiastically and smiles as if verbalizing her excitement wasn’t enough**

Man:  Who you rooting for?

Woman:  Okay, so don’t judge…I’m torn.  I don’t love Baltimore, but I usually like to root for the underdogs if my team isn’t playing.  I do love California, though, so…I just don’t know yet.  How about you?

Man:  San Fran.

Woman:  **Stunned Silence**  Oh.  Yeah, that’s what I meant to say.

(This could be applied to multiple scenarios…and *you*, you know who you are…)

It took the man two words to essentially say the same thing as the woman (who will remain nameless) who used about ten times that.  (Question:  How do you know Elle Grant is referencing herself in the third person?  Answer:  She tells you the woman in question will remain nameless and then proceeds to give herself away.  Highly effective.)

This got me thinking.  Why is it that the majority of (straight) men I know are quite concise (or “Linguistically Efficient” as one friend calls it), while the majority of women I know aren’t?

Let’s start at the beginning.  Words.  A word, by definition, is a “principal carrier of meaning.”  We, as people, need these principal carriers of meaning to express our thoughts.

Okay, please humor me here.  Stop for a minute.  Don’t say anything.  Don’t read anything.  Just sit there and think.

**waits patiently for the roughly two seconds you’ll probably think for before moving on**

What did you think about?  Your grocery list?  How you need to call your mother?  What time does the game start?  Crap, you forgot to get the dry cleaning *again*?  What *is* her point, anyway?  All those things were expressed in words.  We need them.

So, logically speaking, because thoughts are expressed in words, and women seem to use more words, would it be fair to say that women think more than men?  At least with their brains?

The stereotype is, of course, that men tend to think with an appendage on the lower half of their bodies, and that appendage, while fabulous in its own right, doesn’t usually say much.  Sure, it may make gestures or have sporadic outbursts, but overall, it’s not super talkative.

Or, could it be that men just have better filters than women?  Maybe women say pretty much everything that comes to mind, while men refrain from speaking unless it’s absolutely necessary.  You never know, they might need that last breath of air in a minute, and they don’t want to waste it on stating the obvious.

I know a man, quite wonderful really, who, when explaining his brevity, says “you can’t stick your foot in your mouth if it’s not open.”  Fine logic there…but if you don’t speak up, chances are someone else will.  (Plus, if you leave it up to women, we’re quite creative, really.  To us, your silence could mean any number of things…)

    (Speak up, Charlie Brown…)

Well, I did a little research.  Turns out, men talk just as much as women.  Surprising, right?

Here’s how:  Men tend to focus on specific information (Dude, that’s the fifth three-pointer he’s had in the last two minutes!), and women tend to be more supportive with their speech (Oh honey, I know just how you feel – that Ryan Reynolds really does a number on me…).  Plus, men traditionally talk more at work (you know, that whole dominance, Alpha Male thing), while women talk more in social situations (you know, that whole touchy feely “let’s be friends” thing).

I really just wanted an excuse to put Ryan Reynolds up here…

So, there you have it.  Men might take the cake when it comes to balding or slam dunking a basketball, and women might win out when it comes to wearing a bikini or graduating on time.  However, when it comes to speech (she finally concludes 700 words later…), well, we’re just about even.

 

**Photos courtesy of MBpopart.com, YourDiscovery.com, Kurzweilai.net, 10MinutesofBrilliance.com, WeHeartIt.com, and AskMen.com

 

Posted in From Behind the Lens

England: The Land of High Tea, Big Ben, and Free Horse Manure

I recently had the pleasure of meeting my new nephew who just so happens to live in England. (Oh, darn.) In addition to some serious Aunt/Nephew bonding time, I also had the opportunity to explore the land where the royals live.  While I studied abroad there in college, my memories are a little foggy…possibly due to too much time at the local pub.  (My room was literally directly above a bar. Good times.)  This trip I was reminded of all the beauty England has to offer.  Oh, and the free horse manure.  Just as long as you return the bags…

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