The Swamp, Our Awesome Alumni, & $600+ Million in Awards Last Year: Why UF Trumps USC’s Cocks, Pork, & Pyrotechnics

My loyalty was challenged this past weekend. You see, my sister just started grad school at the University of South Carolina. I went to visit her, as sisters do when their sisters move to a strange, new place alone. (I am, however, living vicariously through her in this situation. What I would give to be alone some days…Out on the deck, just me, some sweet tea, and that little old lizard doing that thing with his neck. Sweet serenity.)

Sign this girl up!

While I have been to Columbia for away games, I’ve never actually wandered around USC’s campus. You see, their stadium is far, far away (relatively speaking – it’s a hike, even when you’re sober…) from their actual campus.

Trying to find their stadium is a bit like this. (Okay, so that's a *slight* exaggeration.)

While my sister was giving me “the tour,” I was forced to come to terms with a few things. I realized (gasp) UF may not actually be the best in every, single, itty bitty category there is as far as colleges go.

I kid you not. This realization was uncomfortable. I mean, genuinely, sincerely, from the pit of my stomach, uncomfortable. Had I been living a lie all these years? No. But this realization did have me taking inventory.

USC’s “Horseshoe” puts the Plaza of the Americas to shame with its humongous space of soft, green grass and towering Oaks (their campus has about a fifty year head start on ours).  And they’re within biking distance to some of the best barbeque and collards I’ve ever had in my entire life. No, really.

BBQ pulled pork. Served in a paper basket. Add some collards, pepper sauce, and sweet tea. Yet another reason I love the south...

Oh, and they have fireworks at their stadium. (That’s a bit irritating when you’re losing to them in football. It sucks to lose. It sucks to lose even worse when the loss is celebrated by a colorful display of explosive pyrotechnics.) And, *sigh*, they have the Ol’ Ball Coach.  While I whole heartedly like Muschamp (partially because he reminds me of Spurrier – he’s got some visor-throwing abilities, no doubt), I love, like L.O.V.E. love, Spurrier. “Once a Gator, Always a Gator” kept me warm at night this past weekend.

Yeah. I think he can get a little fired up like Spurrier...

That, however, is it. UF ranks superior in every other category I could think of, and then some, I’m sure. Our campus has towering Oaks, too…next to attractively designed buildings, no matter the decade of creation. (On USC’s campus, it’s very apparent which buildings were built in which decade. “And just what geometric shape is that building trying to embody?”) UF’s architecture is classic.

Just one of the many examples...

Our stadium is right on campus, and just one crosswalk away, we have a large selection of bars and restaurants (Dad, don’t mind the order there…). The girls are hotter (and smarter). The boys are smarter (and with Southern accents, they’d be just as hot as those South Carolinian boys).

Packed full of smart, fun, beautiful people.

Not to mention the academics and research. UF and the brilliant people who work and study there are responsible for a rather large (cough, cough) number of discoveries and inventions including big-time cancer research and treatment, alternative energy sources (ethanol, nuclear, and solar energy), and of course, Gatorade. Don’t believe me? UF received over $619 million in research awards for the 2010-2011 year. (My mom and 3rd Dad are responsible for some of that – Love you guys!) Over 600 million bucks? Not bad, if I do say so myself.

My sweet mom and Dad 3 goofing off when they're not in their labs working to make UF even more awesome. Adorable, aren't they? They're even more adorable in person...and when they're looking in the right direction when it comes to picture time...

Our list of alumni is impressive, too.  The inventor of the digital computer (John Atanasoff), best-selling novelists (Michael Connelly, Carl Hiassen, and one day, me, just to name a few), governors (including Bob Graham), two Nobel Prize winners, three NASA astronauts, musicians with voices like honey (Easton Corbin), and dozens of athletes in the pros (Tim Tebow, Jack Youngblood, Emmitt Smith, Andre Caldwell, Jarvis Moss, Fred Taylor…the list goes on, and we haven’t even gotten past football…Oh!  And they’re all smart, too!) are all alumni.  (There are, of course, several UF alum family members of mine (7 people, 8 degrees (B.A.’s, M.A.’s, and M.D.’s)) who are famous for their own reasons…Have you heard my dad’s play by play of his Saturday morning golf games?…)

As if we could have too many pictures of him popping up on this site...

There are about a gazillion other things UF is great for, but I’ll spare you the rest. This is right about the breaking point when my non-Gator loved ones stop reading (Hi Renee! Love you! Please give the little peanut a hug and head-kiss for me!).

My point is, while I had a moment of panic this weekend, it turns out that, yeah, UF’s more awesome. Besides, we have a way better mascot.  As my sister rightly noted, anyone other than a 12 year old boy would rather say, “Go Gators!” than “Go Cocks!”  Just sayin’.

**Photos courtesy of ufl.edu, bleacherreport.com, football.ballparks.com, myrecipes.com, kitchengeeking.com, exitofhumanity.com, and floridaadventuring.com.